Remorse and Forgiveness
by Riku-Aura777
Summary: Sequel to Meaning. A tragedy has occurred in Zelos's life. Can Sheena manage to stop him from trying something drastic again? Can she save him one more time? Is it possible?
1. Death

_Remorse and Forgiveness_

I'm back once again to, hopefully, give the Sheelos fans something to enjoy. This is the sequel to my fic _Meaning_, so if any of you were fans of that, I hope that you'll enjoy this as well and I'm not sure if you'll understand this if you haven't read _Meaning, _so you might want to do that. The choice is up to you.

So, this will probably be as depressing as the last one, and there will be a character death. I'm sorry to any fans of said person (Who's identity will be known soon) for killing of the character. I just thought that it would be interesting to do, since I don't think I've ever seen one like this done before.

So, read and review please.

Disclaimer: I don't own Tales of Symphonia.

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Chapter 1- Death

_"I'm sorry, we tried to contact you, but you never responded."_

_"We did everything we could, but the illness was too severe and she couldn't fight it off."_

_"Her death is an unfortunate thing. She died too soon. I'm so sorry for your loss."_

Sheena Fujibayashi sighed as she rubbed her hands together nervously. That conversation. She could remember every detail of it, even though it had happened about three weeks ago. However, what she would always remember the most about that day was the shattered look on Zelos's face. The look that was created by the news of his sister's death.

Sheena knew that Seles had been a sickly child; Zelos had told her that. But she never imagined that she'd die from an illness. Apparently, according to the inconsolable expression on Zelos's face, he didn't think it was possible as well.

She and Seles were never on good terms with one another. But now, Sheena regretted that their conflict, whatever it may have been, was never resolved. She even believed that it could've been possible, especially since they did have something in common. They both cared about Zelos Wilder. More than that, it took quite a lot for the two of them to convince the former chosen that they cared about him.

Four months ago, Zelos had tried to kill himself. But, luckily for him, Sheena had walked in on him and he lived. And although it took awhile to figure out, the female ninja managed to learn that Zelos felt like he was destroying the lives of the people closest to him. Along with that, Sheena uncovered that his mother said to him, with her dying breathe, "You should never have been born."

But before Sheena found out what had occurred in the ex-chosen's past, she learned about other things. He used to cut himself to release any emotion he kept bottled up or couldn't deal with. His flirty, happy-go-lucky personality had been nothing but a façade. He also believed that no one cared about him.

However, Sheena felt that one of the most important things learned in that extremely difficult week was that she loved the swordsman and that he loved her back. The love that they shared, and Zelos revealing his past had truly helped him heal.

Their relationship hadn't gone too dar in those four months. This is probably due to their unfamiliarity with maintaining one, since Sheena had never really been in one before and Zelos had never been in one that meant something. Even though they hadn't had sex yet, they did share many passionate kisses and times where they had thought about it. But, they decided to take their relationship slowly.

Seles, even though she was glad that her brother was happy, still continued to show her strong dislike towards Sheena, and often voiced her opinions about the ninja to Zelos when he visited the abbey. One on visit, a week before Seles had gotten sick, Zelos told his sister that she needed to accept that he loved Sheena and that they should try to get along. But they ended up fighting and Seles demanded that her older brother should leave her alone for a while.

Sheena could remember how angry Zelos was at his sister when he had told her what had happened. The ninja even tried to convince the swordsman to go back to the abbey and work out their problem, but he adamantly refused.

And a few days later, according to the priest who had told them about Seles's death, Seles's sickness began. The multiple doctors and healers they had brought in didn't even know what the disease was. Regardless, they did everything they could think of to conquer the unknown illness, and yet, Seles just couldn't fight it off, and she knew that she was going to die.

Sheena had been told that muliple messages had been sent to Zelos, requesting that he should come to the abbey to see his sister again since that was all that Seles was asking for. None of those letters had ever reached him.

And Sheena knows what Zelos regrets the most: not seeing his little sister when that was all she wanted.

She had just returned from a four day visit to Mizuho. Now, she was just trying to summon up the courage to go up to his room. Sebastian had to go out into the city to run a few errands, so it was just her and Zelos in his spacious mansion.

Though Sheena would never admit it out loud, she was afraid. What if she lost Zelos again? What if he started cutting himself again? What if he tried to _kill himself_ again?

_No, _Sheena thought, _I won't allow him to try either of those two things again._

Even if Zelos had yet to restart that self-destructive habit again, Sheena could tell that he was surely falling back into depression. Unless some miracle had occurred over her four day absence, he was having a terrible time sleeping. Along with that, she could tell that he was starting to eat less as the days went by. Hopefully, he _did_ eat, even without her watchful eye.

Sheena felt helpless. _Once again _Sheena felt powerless. She couldn't think of any way to help ease his pain. Why did fate choose to be so cruel to _him_?

"Standing here isn't doing anything." Sheena stated as she began ascending the stairs, "I have to talk to him,"

And while she tried to say that with an air of confidence, she couldn't fully diminish the fear that loomed in her heart.

* * *

I apologize for the shortness of this chapter, but it was sort of a prologue to inform you about what had happened over the four month time skip.

So, was it terrible? Is it worth continuing? I'll most likely write another chapter no matter what, but your opinion does still matter. Just keep in mind that the chances of me updating before June 13 are slim since I have finals coming up, but you never know.


	2. I'm fine

Well, I'm sorry that it took me so long to post this. Finals killed my writing inspiration, so this was very difficult to write. Hopefully, I'll go back to updating once a week.

Disclaimer: Tales of Symphonia doesn't belong to me in any way.

* * *

Chapter 2- I'm fine

Hesitantly, Sheena opened the bedroom door and looked into the Zelos's room. At first, she thought that he was asleep, but then she could see his beautiful blue-gray eyes staring sadly at his ceiling.

She closed the distance between them. Coming to a stop before him, she watched as his eyes slowly locked onto her own. Sheena waited patiently for his next move, silently praying that he would speak. Or that he wouldn't look away from her.

After what felt like an eternity, she mentally decided that he wans't going to say anything, so to break the silence, and maybe even coax him into talking, she opened her mouth. But before she could speak, he talked.

"So, how was your trip?"

To put it simply, Sheena was shocked. She hadn't expected the former chosen to talk to her, especially since he was being rather reclusive lately. The ninja fidgeted nervously as she averted her eyes from Zelos's intense gaze. His eyes seemed to have a new piercing aspect to them, almost as though they were looking straight into her.

Hoping to soften his gaze, she replied, though not able to fully contain a nervous stutter, "I-it was fine. How were you while I was gone?"

Zelos turned away from her and shrugged, just like she had expected. To Sheena, he was becoming very predictable. Or maybe he just didn't know any other way to respond.

"It was okay, I guess,"

_Okay, maybe he's not so predictable. _Sheena thought, mentally sighing. Just when she thought she had Zelos figured out, he'd do something that she wasn't expecting.

"That's good." Sheena hated how awkward their conversations were becoming again. Just like before.

Since Zelos was still looking away from her, Sheena took the opportunity to glance at his arms. Lucky for her, his long arm gloves weren't on at the moment. As far as she could tell, his arms appeared to be scar free. That fact alone made her feel at ease.

"Have you eaten yet?"

Sheena jumped at the question. Had he really just asked her that? No, he couldn't have. He couldn't have just miraculously stopped starving himself. Could he?

"Um… I'm sorry, I didn't hear you. What did you say?" She held her breathe, hoping that he really had regained his appetite.

Sighing in annoyance, Zelos repeated, "I asked if you had eaten yet."

Unable to contain a small smile as she noticed his eyes roll, she answered, "No, I haven't. I'm going to find something. Are you coming with me?"

Sheena winced a little as she watched Zelos force a grin, "Sure,"

Before Sheena could react, Zelos had shoved himself off of the bed and walked across his room to his door. As he opened the door, Sheena jogged over to him, following him down into the kitchen.

After the meal, Sheena was able to convince Zelos to take a walk with her. Her true intentions were just to see if he would since he had locked himself up in his room the entire time. To her surprise, he agreed with no arguing or reluctance.

Along with that, Sheena observed that he ate a bowl of ramen without her having to force it down his throat. This was confusing her. She didn't normally know what was going on with the swordsman to begin with, but she was more out of the loop now than she had ever been.

Even though he was eating and listening to her, Sheena could tell that he wasn't okay. She knew that something was just… wrong. He wasn't acting normal, well, as normal as he could be.

He was quieter, that much was obvious to her. And his eyes, Sheena noted, were different. She could always read his eyes. She could tell when he was happy, angry, or in pain just by looking at them. But now, it looked like there was _nothing _behind them. It was… unnerving.

_Maybe it's just my imagination. _She tried to convince herself. _Yeah, that could be it. I'm just imagining it, that's all._

"Are you okay?" Sheena was brought out of her thoughts by his question.

_I should be asking _you _that. _She thought wryly. Before Zelos repeated himself, Sheena replied, "I'm fine."

"Well, you haven't answered a single thing I've asked, so I was just checking."

"What did you want?" Sheena asked, suddenly curious.

Zelos shook his head quickly, "No, it's nothing. Never mind."

"Come on," Sheena pleaded in a false whining tone, "you can't just drop it. I really want to know."

"Really, it's nothing. Do you want to keep walking?" Zelos questioned.

Sheena could tell that he wanted to drop the subject, so she stopped that conversation for the time being, "I guess we can go back,"

"I don't care."

"I didn't really think you would." Sheena muttered.

"What was that?"

"Oh, nothing." Sheena said with a small smile.

Once they returned the mansion, Sheena left Zelos and went into the kitchen to get a glass of water. She didn't like today ended up. She could tell that there was something wrong with him. And the worst part was, she knew that he wouldn't confide in her.

The only thing that Sheena wanted was for Zelos to tell her what he was feeling. He blamed himself for Seles's early death, even though there was no possible way it could have been his fault. Sheena guessed that he just needed to hear it from someone. Maybe that would help ease his guilt.

As Sheena climbed the stairs, she could hear the distinct sound of retching. She winced, immediately knowing that it was Zelos. She was afraid that he wouldn't be able to hold down his food.

While she was sure that he wouldn't want her to see him, Sheena walked into his bathroom and watched his body heave. Since he had yet to notice her presence, Sheena got on her knees and rubbed his back. It tensed at the contact, and before he could talk, he retched again. Sheena had to fight the urge to cringe.

"Are you all right?" Sheena asked. It had been a few minutes since he had thrown up, though she was still rubbing his back.

"Y-yeah," He replied, his voice a little hoarse.

"Are you really?" She questioned. She wasn't just talking about his stomach.

"Yes," He insisted after coughing a little.

"Damn it Zelos! You need to stop lying to me!" As soon as the words left her mouth, Sheena's eyes widened. She hadn't meant to let that slip out. It just… happened.

Before she could apologize, he abruptly got up and left the room. But Sheena wasn't going to let him get away from her. She was stubborn, just like he was.

"I'm sorry, Zelos." She said as he sat down on his bed.

"Don't be. You didn't do anything,"

"I shouldn't have yelled at you,"

"I'm still fine." Zelos said, changing the subject.

Calmer, she repeated, "Don't lie to me. You're not fine. Don't you think I can tell by now?"

"Do you want something to be wrong with me?" Zelos challenged, now glaring at the ninja.

"Of course not, don't be stupid. I just want to you to stop running."

"And what makes you think I'm running from something?"

"All right then. Maybe you can convince that you're okay. Look me in the eye and tell me that nothing is bothering you."

She smirked internally when he hesitated. They could both tell that he had lost their little argument.

"Please," She whispered, "talk to me. Tell what's on your mind. Tell me what you're feeling."

"I can't." He whispered back, his eyes darting to the floor.

"Why not? I thought I told you that you don't have to face things alone. You don't have to keep everything bottled up, Zelos."

"It's not that, it's just…" He trailed off.

"Don't you trust me enough, Zelos?"

His eyes instantly met hers. Sheena couldn't tell what kind of emotion was in those blue orbs, "Yes, I do! I trust you!"

"Then, tell me what's wrong." She insisted.

"I can't." He repeated.

Seeing that she was getting nowhere, she sighed in defeat. He probably didn't feel like being around her right now, and, to be honest, she didn't like being in the same room as him right now. She felt alone, like he was building a wall around himself and leaving her on the outside. It was… difficult, feeling like this.

"I'm going downstairs. See you tomorrow, Zelos. Try and sleep."

And with that, she turned away from the former Chosen and walked out of the room, completely forgetting that she had meant to reassure him that he wasn't responsible for his sister's death. And it wouldn't be until the next morning that she figured out that her conversation with him only increased his guilt.

* * *

I'm not that pleased with this chapter, but I think I now have ideas for it again. Once more, I'm sorry about the chapter lengths. I just can't seem to get them that long.

So, hopefully you liked it. Please review. Readers words always seem to make me happy. It would also help me out if I'm told how to improve the story and/or my writing.


	3. Trust

Here it is, chapter 3. Thanks to all the fans of this story.

Disclaimer: I don't own Tales of Symphonia.

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Chapter 3- Trust

_She doesn't trust me? _That was the only thing that Zelos could think about. Could Sheena really think that? _How _could she think that? That statement couldn't be more wrong. She was the person that he trusted the most in his life.

His stomach churned as his guilt increased. If he hadn't of emptied the contents of his stomach all ready, he would be throwing up right now.

What had he done to make Sheena believe that she didn't have his trust? He had tried to act normal, he _really _tried. He didn't argue with Sheena, he ate, was that not convincing enough?

He wasn't purposely closing himself up. He had attempted to talk to Sheena, but every time he tried, it felt like something was stopping him. Zelos didn't want to keep her in the dark, he just didn't know how to talk to her about it.

And due to his inability to talk to her, Zelos had hurt Sheena. No matter what he did, it seemed like he was always hurting somebody.

First it was his mother, then it was Seles. Why did it have to be Seles? What had she done in her life? She didn't deserve to die so early in life.

Even though Zelos could figure out in his mind that her death was not his fault, he couldn't help but feel guilty about it. Why did they have to get in a fight? Why did he have to be so stubborn that he wouldn't even visit his own sister?

Zelos had so many regrets that he couldn't even list them all. Not seeing his sister when she was dying was one of them. He should have. He shouldn't have ignored her, just because they had gotten into a fight.

However, while Zelos may regret arguing with his sister, he didn't feel bad about defending the woman he loves. He just wished that he had tried to make up with his sister before she died.

"Wait," Zelos whispered, "was that why Seles wanted to see me? To talk about that fight?"

That's when he started to feel worse. What if that was what Seles had wanted to talk about? What if she had been trying to make amends before she died? Had he truly denied Seles that chance by avoiding her?

He clenched his eyes shut, trying to hold back the tears he felt forming. What right did he have to cry? How could that _possibly _help him? Tears wouldn't bring his sister back. They wouldn't help him earn Sheena's forgiveness. What was the point in crying?

He sighed and sat up, rubbing his eyes roughly. Should he go look for Sheena? No, she wouldn't have left if she wanted to be with him. He should probably leave her alone.

Zelos would never tell Sheena this, but ever since Seles died, it was becoming harder and harder to resist cutting himself. He just can't stand all of the guilt that he's feeling.

_It's not possible to tell Sheena about it. _Zelos thought. If he told her, he feared the look of disappointment in her eyes. He wouldn't be able to survive disappointing her again. So, he fought the urges, but it was difficult, especially without Sheena there with him. Seeing her always helped him, so for her to be gone now, he felt himself giving in.

He didn't want to. He didn't want to depend on that again. Even so, he got up and began searching his room, at the same time trying to stop himself.

Maybe _this _would really help him. Maybe this could get him to act normal. Could cutting himself _really _help him? Could it truly be that easy?

He was brought out of his musings by a fairly loud knock on the door. He started to feel a little panicky, but quickly walked to the door when he realized whoever knocked wasn't going to enter.

Taking a few deep breathes to calm himself, he opened the door and quietly gasped in surprise when he saw Sheena.

"What are doing here?" He asked cautiously.

"I'm sorry." She said instantly. Zelos could hear the guilt in her voice and it made him internally wince, "I shouldn't have said that. That made you feel worse, didn't it?"

Zelos vaguely nodded, shocked that she was able to know that. Well, she _did _claim to know him very well. Zelos guessed that this fact was true.

"I'm really sorry, Zelos."

"Don't be, it's my fault too."

Zelos jumped slightly when Sheena put her arms around his waist. Instinctively, he hugged her and laid the side of his face on the top of her head.

"You don't need to say that." She whispered, "I understand why."

Did she really? Zelos himself didn't even know why he felt such immense guilt over Seles's death. How could Sheena know?

He remained silent, mostly because he didn't know what to say.

"Things have been hard, I know." She pulled away from him slightly and Zelos looked into her brown eyes, "But… that's why you need to talk about them."

Zelos knew that the conversation was going to return to this. He didn't feel like talking about it. He didn't know _how _to talk about it. His feelings of guilt, pain, he didn't know why he had them. At least, he didn't know why he felt so responsible.

Words couldn't describe how he felt. That's why he found it useless to try. And when he _did _try, he just couldn't speak of his anxieties.

"Zelos?" Sheena questioned.

_Oh, crap. _Zelos thought. Had she been talking to him? Had he spaced out or something.

"Y-yeah?" He answered.

Sheena sighed quietly and kissed Zelos's cheek, "Go to sleep. Or, _try _to sleep."

Zelos could see that there was a sadness in her eyes now. Did he do something wrong? Rather, was it something that he didn't do? It seemed like he had hurt her once again.

Before he could reciprocate the kiss, Sheena had started walking towards the door and left the room, saying that she'd come back in a few minutes. So now, Zelos was alone again.

He sat on his bed and pondered aloud, "Will you be next, Sheena? Will you die because of me? Why do you stay with me, when you'll just end up hurt?"

He was unable to come up with answers to these questions. And he had also been unsuccessful in his search for something sharp. So, he opted to trying to use his fingernails to cut himself, but they hardly served the purpose. The nails didn't draw blood, and they didn't hurt that much. All the pain that he was feeling inside still remained.

Sighing in frustration, he rolled over onto his side and tried to sleep, hoping that he could at least do this one thing correctly and get Sheena to believe that he was getting better. Maybe then, she would realize that he trusted her. However, nothing was ever that easy for him. Why should this be?

* * *

I have now seen Zelos's Flanoir scene, and I must say, I simply loved it. Hopefully, that'll help give me inspiration.

Anyway, please review. I'd like to hear your thoughts and opinions about this story, whether they're good or bad.


	4. Don't fall

I'm sorry for taking so long! Writer's block was _horrible _to me. Hopefully, I'll be more consistent with my updates and that this chapter is good, even though I took such a long break.

Disclaimer: Tales of Symphonia does not belong to me.

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Chapter 4- Don't Fall

Sheena sat down outside Zelos's room, putting her face in her hands. She hated this feeling. This… helplessness.

The ninja was basically clueless. And she was still scared. Scared for Zelos, or rather, afraid of what he might want to do to himself. Sheena could see it in his eyes. Whether he would want to go through with it or not, she could tell that he was thinking about hurting himself again. She could hope that it was just her imagination, but she doubted that.

If she could not figure out how to help him soon, she knew that he would fall back into his self-destructive habits. Was it even _possible _to stop that from happening? Was it inevitable?

_No, _She thought, _I can't think that. It won't help. I can't give up, not now. Not after everything I've done to help him._

She had resolve and stubbornness, so much stubbornness that it could even match Zelos's. She wouldn't let him fall. Not again.

With that in mind, she stood up and breathed deeply a few times, calming herself. Sheena remembered that she had to be patient with him, especially since Zelos could be the most infuriating person at times. That did not matter. She still loved him, anyway.

Entering his room, Sheena could immediately tell that he was not asleep, even though she was only looking at his back. While knowing this, she still walked over to him quietly. She shook his shoulder when she got close to him, holding back a small gasp when he jumped.

Sitting up in his bed, Zelos exclaimed, "Holy crap, Sheena! I didn't even hear you."

"You weren't even asleep." She replied, rolling her eyes.

"Hunny, you don't have to use your ninja skills or whatever here."

"Ugh, now I'm 'hunny' again?" She question, her voice thick with mock disgust.

Sheena remembered these conversations very well. They were always Zelos's attempt at avoiding something. The fact that they were having another one dismayed her, but she would not voice her concern right now.

"I could think of a different pet name if you don't like that one." He threatened, quickly showing a fake grin.

Sheena had forgotten how much she used to hate it when he would do that. She had not seem them in a while, his fake grins, laughs, or smiles. They made her want to cringe, though she fought the urge to.

"What ever happened to the banshee one?" Sheena asked, unintentionally enjoying their little banter. She could not recall the last time he had talked so much to her at once.

"You've been nicer to me." He answered simply.

"Ah."

After a momentary lapse of silence, Sheena asked, "How's your stomach?"

Zelos only shrugged, causing Sheena to sigh.

"Come on, you could at least give a verbal answer." She said impatiently.

"I don't know." He replied shortly.

Exasperated with him, Sheena let her eyes wander to the window. With Zelos's rapid mood changes, Sheena was half amazed that it was not snowing outside.

Sheena really wanted to talk about Seles. She _knew _that they needed to talk about her. Figuring the swordsman's current behavior, Zelos did not want to talk about his sister. The ninja was unsure as to whether she should start the conversation or let Zelos talk about it when he was ready. But, if she left it up to him, he would probably never talk about it. After all, he had kept the incident with his mother a secret for _years_.

It had not even been a month since Seles died. Maybe it really was too soon to talk about it. But, with each passing day, Sheena knew that the guilt was eating at Zelos more and more. That it was pushing him closer and closer to the edge. And she was not sure how much longer he could hold out. How much longer he could go without cutting himself?

So, Sheena figured that they had to talk about her now. Talking about Seles would not get any easier, no matter how much time passed.

"Zelos." Sheena said, waiting for him to look at her before continuing, "You haven't talked about Seles that much. It might help if you do."

"And if I don't _want _to?" He asked, his voice now calm. In Sheena's opinion, a little too calm.

"I don't think you're ever gonna want to." Sheena reasoned.

Bringing his legs to his chest, Zelos replied, "You might just be right,"

Sheena sighed but didn't question him any further. Surprisingly, Zelos spoke again, "Why are you still here?"

"W-what?!" This question startled her. What could he mean?

"Why do you stay here with me?" He asked again, this time sounding impatient.

_He's not telling me to leave, is he? _This thought made her nervous. Did he truly want to get rid of her? Why? Or… did Zelos think that she wanted to leave? Why would she want to leave the ex-Chosen?

"You think I want to leave?" She questioned.

"I don't talk to you." Zelos stated, "I get you mad, upset you. I just mess up." Turning his head, he muttered, "Why would you want to put up with that? With me?"

Even though, in her eyes, he had not messed anything up, the other two things he had said were true. But, the brown eyed girl had never questioned why she stayed with him. Never.

"Let me ask you something." Pausing for a moment, she continued, "Do you still love me?"

At first, she had not expected an answer, but was pleased when she heard a whispered, "Of course,"

Even though Zelos could not see it, she smiled, "That's why. 'Cause you love me, and I love you."

Reaching over to him, she rested her hand on his shoulder, not pulling away when Zelos tensed, "That's all the reason I need,"

"Really?" It seemed like his questioned would never cease.

Frowning, she replied, "Yeah,"

So, along with the insomnia and starvation, the insecurities had returned as well. That realization did not help matters. Was it possible for him to suffer from anything else?

"You shouldn't,"

This statement got Sheena's attention, "What?"

"Love me,"

Rolling her eyes, she replied, "What's gotten into you?" While she did not want to be, Sheena was starting to get annoyed… and maybe a little scared.

"Just telling you the truth." Zelos simply said.

"Why?" Sheena had no idea about what was going through his mind, but she needed to know.

"You just shouldn't,"

"That's not good enough." Sheena said, her annoyance showing in her voice.

"Maybe it's just not for _you_." Zelos challenged.

Where was he going with this? "What are you talking about?"

"Just leave, Sheena." His voice sounded defeated.

"Why?"

Sheena jumped when he faced her, eyes blazing with an emotion she could not identify, "Just get outta here, Sheena!"

Those words physically hurt. Was her presence upsetting him that much?

Listening to his request, or rather, demand, Sheena stood up and left his room, quietly closing the door behind her. She leaned back against the wall. Slowly, her body slid down until she was sitting on the floor. Against her will, she felt tears streaming down her face. Sobs shook her entire body even though she tried to stop them.

It seemed like her attempts at making everything better failed. Had she truly screwed everything up that badly? Would it be better if she left? _How?_

She had promised herself that she would not let Zelos fall again. What if she all ready had?

* * *

So, I hope this chapter didn't suck. And that no one hates me for the evil plot twist. I hope not. Even though I've been stuck on this chapter for a couple weeks, I came up with end about an hour ago.

I now have a question for anyone who wants to voice their opinion. I'm considering having a chapter be mostly about Seles's funeral. Now, should the funeral be: 1) A flashback? 2) A dream (Most likely Zelos's)? Or 3) Just have Sheena and Zelos talk about it? Let me know if you'd prefer one of these.

So, please review, even if it's about me taking too long to review. Thanks!


	5. Forgive and Forget

I'm so sorry for not updating this! The sad thing is, I've had this written since Saturday, but I didn't have enough time to update it. So, that was my fault. I hope no one's too upset. So, I'll make this author's note and just let you read.

But first: I don't own Tales of Symphonia.

* * *

Chapter 5- Forgive and forget

Zelos sighed, shaking his head. He had meant what he had said. Sheena should not stay with him. What would happen to her if she stayed around him? Would she just end up like his mother and Seles? The swordsman was just concerned about her well-being. It would be selfish to make her stay.

At the same time, he _wanted_to be selfish. He did not want to give her up; he did not want her to leave him. Zelos needed the summoner. Despite his best efforts to push her away, he needed her close by.

And yet, Zelos had, once again, hurt her and he could not even fathom why he had. He sure did a damn good job at showing his care and concern.

"I'm so stupid." He mumbled to himself.

He somewhat considered searching for her so he could apologize, but Zelos could not imagine Sheena giving him that chance. She _had _to be pissed off at him. Maybe he should wait a little while.

His train of thought ended when he could a quiet sound coming from outside his room. He arched an eyebrow. It was barely loud enough for him to hear, so he could not quite tell what it was.

Zelos walked over to his door, but came to an immediate stop when he was a few inches from the door, almost as if he was frozen into place. It sounded like… sobs? Or someone trying to hold back their sobs. Could it be Sheena?

This thought felt like a punch in gut, making him breathless. Had his words truly been that harmful? Of course, he, _of all people_, knew how words could affect someone, but he had no idea that they were that harsh.

"I'm sorry." He whispered, knowing that he should be saying that to Sheena's face, and not with a door separating them.

But would she even want to hear that? That he was sorry? Why would she forgive him again? He had not been the easist person to live with over the past few weeks, but she had not been seriously bothered by anything he had said or done. However, now she was outside his room, trying not to cry.

He turned around, repeating a little louder, "I'm sorry,"

Maybe now, it would not matter if Zelos was selfish or not. Maybe Sheena would just leave because _she _wanted to. It would be better for her, he figured, if she did not have to deal with him and his everlasting problems. The ex-Chosen could not expect his lover to forgive and forget everything he did.

Zelos laid back on his bed, legs dangling off the edge, softly touching the floor. He sighed, closing his eyes. The redhead noticed that the sounds of the choked back sobs had ceased. Had Sheena stopped crying? Or did she simply leave? Maybe the swordsman was having another selfish moment, but he seriously hoped that it was not the latter.

However, he figured it was. He had never been lucky. Why should that change now? Zelos thought about leaving is room and checking but… he was afraid. If his voluptuous hunny was not on the other side of that door, he would lose it. He would not be able to resist the urge to cut himself any longer. It was a miracle that Zelos had not yet started the habit back up again.

Sighing once more, he unintentionally allowed his mind to wander, back to a day he would rather not think about.

* * *

The weather that day was cloudy, a little misty, and quite cold. It looked like it could start raining at any moment. Terrible weather for a terrible day.

The small, recluse cemetery on the outskirts of Meltokio was empty and quiet. Zelos had never liked cemeteries. He found the emptiness unsettling and the silence unnerving. And now, here he was, in front of his sister's grave, having a small funeral for her.

It had only been a few days after Seles's death. Ever since Zelos found out about it, everything had felt like a daze, almost as if he were dreaming. But now, standing in front of her grave, everything was so… real. Seles was really dead, and the ex-Chosen would never see or talk to his sister ever again.

Everyone, Lloyd, Colette, Genis, Raine, Presea, and Regal, his old traveling companions, had attended. Apparently, Sheena had managed to contact each of them. He had no idea how his lover had accomplished that on such short notice, but he was grateful that she did. He had not seen any of them, except Lloyd, since the end of their journey. It was relieving to see them, despite the reason _why _they were here now.

Standing on his left was his aging butler and father figure, Sebastian. In Zelos's opinion, even if it was not by blood, Sebastian was his last remaining living relative. He could not help but wonder when he would be standing in front of his grave… Zelos had quickly pushed those thoughts away though. He could not deal with them, not today.

Then, on his other side, holding his hand confortingly, was Sheena. If she had not been there with him, squeezing his hand, silently helping him get through that day, he probably would have broken down, right there.

During the speech he had to make, there were a number of things Zelos wanted to do, namely cry and mourn the death of his sister, or run as far away from the grave site as he could. Mostly, he desired to find a knife or other sharp object so he could forget about the sadness. He just wanted something else to focus on, even if it was physical pain. It seemed absolutely impossible to deal with the amount of emotional anguish he was feeling. He just could _not _deal wit it.

Regardless, Zelos managed to keep his composure and talk about Seles. Even when he felt his shoulders shaking and his voice cracking, he was able to push back his emotions and complete his speech.

After a while, everyone eventually left, leaving just himself and Sheena in front of the grave. Unfortunately for Zelos, his mind continually wandered back to the day of his mother's funeral, so many years ago. This had been the first time in a long while he had thought about that day. This funeral, just like Mylene's, would be a day that he would try to block out and forget about. Days like today were just too horrible to _want _to remember.

* * *

Closing his eyes, Zelos turned over onto his side. That had been the first time he had thought about Seles's funeral. Now the redhead felt worse, just like he had expected himself to feel if he thought about that day. That memory just made him want to cut himself even more, just so he could stop thinking about it.

Zelos had always had a way of "conveniently" forgetting things, but he had always found it rather difficult to forgive himself.

* * *

And that's how Seles's funeral went. I tried writing it like a dream, but I just couldn't get it to fit with what was currently going on, so I just had Zelos think about it. I actually kind of liked it, so I hope all of you did as well.

I'd like to thank all of my readers, reviewers, etc. I'm so happy that people are enjoying this fic, and I hope they still are, even though I'm not updating all that fast. So, I promise that I will _try _to have the next chapter up in a week. No guarantees, though.


	6. Relapse

May I just say, I'm so, so, so sorry for taking so long! Please forgive me! Um… I'm not sure if this'll make it up to you, but here are some things I've done between my last update and now: Went on a three week vacation, beat two Final Fantasy games, suffered from writer's block, wrote a quarter of this chapter, suffered from writer's block _again_, and then started school. That last thing happened a week ago.

So, like I said, sorry! And also, only two reviews from the last chapter wasn't a giant motivator. Did the last chapter suck that much?! So, to my (hopefully) still loyal readers, here's the next chapter.

Disclaimer: I don't own Tales of Symphonia.

One more thing!! I could not believe this when I found this out about a month ago. I was in utter shock. My stories are on the Sheelos community! Now, I don't know much about communities (I know what they are, but just haven't been interested in learning more), so I'm not sure how I story gets added to one. Could someone explain it to me? But I'm so happy about it.

* * *

Chapter 6- Relapse

_Maybe I should just go back upstairs and see him. Then again, that might not end well. He made it perfectly clear that he didn't want me around, so… maybe I should just listen to him. _Sheena shook her head violently, instantly banishing that thought. She refused to abandon him, not now.

_Even though that may be what he really wants. Damn it, why does this have to be confusing?!_

The ninja continued to pace around the lavish living room, pausing momentarily, allowing her gaze to linger on the giant, towering picture of Mylene Wilder. Her brown eyes hardened a little at the sight of it. Sheena, unsuccessfully, tried to convince Zelos to take the picture down, but he adamantly refused, while not giving much reason for his decision. While she did not press the issue, her opinion had not changed. Zelos's mother _definitely _did not deserve the honor of having her picture displayed within the mansion, not after causing her son so much emotional trauma for her son.

Shaking her head, Sheena forced herself away from the picture and back to the current problem. Moving from her stop in front of the picture, Sheena absentmindedly noticed that her legs were moving her towards the stairs. The summoner was too wrapped up in her own thoughts to truly notice. However, almost tripping up the stairs had managed to force Sheena out of her reverie.

Sighing, she mentally came to her conclusion. _Not that I really had to give it much thought._

It was true, Sheena knew, that she really did not have to consider it much. She knew what she had to do, and she was prepared to do it, and whether she ended up getting hurt in the end did not matter.

Taking a calming breathe, Sheena slowly began climbing the stairs. She kept that slow pace until she heard a loud, crashing a noise; a sound that ripped through the looming silence violently, making Sheena jump. With renewed vigor, she ran up the remaining stairs, almost afraid of what she would find at the top of them.

Without regaining her wits, Sheena wrenched Zelos's bedroom door open, eyes widening at the sight of… nothing? Brown eyes scanned the semi-dark room frantically, but when she found nothing, she let out a held breathe, unaware that she had been holding it in. However, she did not allow herself to relax. Her eyes landed on the swordsman's closed bathroom door, knowing, even though she would love to deny it, that the breaking noise had come from there.

Even though it had only taken her a few seconds to cross the room and stand in front of the door, each step felt like it had taken an eternity. With each step she took, Sheena felt like she was starting to suffocate. It felt shameful to admit, but Sheena was truly scared of what she would find behind the door.

Forcing herself to be calm, since it would not be a good idea to act irrationally or impulsively, Sheena quickly opened the door, bracing herself for what she find on the other side.

Once she opened the door, her eyes widened, but at the same time, released a held in breathe, relieved. There was no blood anywhere, as far as she could see, just shattered glass from a broken mirror.

With calm eyes, Sheena looked at Zelos. More specifically, she looked at the inner parts of his arms. They were slightly obscured, but she could see no blood. It seemed like she could breathe again. Nevertheless, there was still another matter that had to be resolved. Why had Zelos smashed the mirror? Was he _trying _to kill himself?

"I thought about locking the door," Zelos said, causing Sheena to blink and look at his face, "to see if you'd break it down, like you said you would."

Sheena could vaguely recall threatening to do something like that once before, after Zelos's attempted suicide. Was that a confession? She would not know unless she asked.

Ignoring what he had said, Sheena asked, "Zelos, what are you doing?" Though she tried to keep her voice firm, her question had been voiced a little shakily.

Zelos opened his mouth, but instead of replying, dropped the piece of glass he held in his hand. Sheena cringed slightly at the sound of the shattering glass.

"I thought about Seles, and her funeral." Zelos said, causing Sheena to tilt her head in confusion. He had said it so conversationally, almost as if he were talking about the weather or something.

"… I hadn't thought about her since then." He finished.

"And?" Sheena urged, praying he would continue.

"I didn't really want to… I just did,"

"Is that why you broke the mirror?"

"Don't really know." Zelos answered, shrugging.

"What do you mean?" Sheena asked patiently.

"I didn't want to think about her anymore." Zelos responded after a small pause.

Quirking an eyebrow, Sheena replied, "So you broke the mirror…" She said it more as a statement rather than a question.

"Better than what else I coulda done." While Zelos was trying to conceal it, Sheena could detect the impatience in his voice.

"Would you if I hadn't come in?" This was the question that she was hesitant to ask. She was not sure if she would like the answer she would receive…

"Dunno,"

… If she received a _real _answer.

"Honestly?" Sheena could not help but be a little skeptical. Zelos _had _to have known if he would or would not cut himself.

"I… hadn't really thought about it." He sighed.

"Which hand did you punch it with?"

Instead of replying, Sheena watched Zelos's eyes drift down, towards his left pocket. His hand was inside it.

"Let me see." Sheena quietly commanded.

Hesitant, Zelos complied, taking his hand out of pocket. Sheena could now see the blood dripping from his knuckles since they had been cut by the shards.

"You need to get those bandaged. If I leave you alone for a minute, will you do anything?"

"No." Zelos answered quietly.

"Are you serious?" Sheena wanted to believe him, _needed _to believe him. But for that to happen, he had to say it convincingly; to say it like he truly meant it, which, Sheena hoped, was actually the truth.

"Yes." He said. Sheena knew that Zelos was an exceptional liar, he sounded sincere. She decided to trust him, and hope that she would not end up regretting it, or that Zelos would not do something drastic and irreversible because of it.

Turning around, Sheena briskly walked out the room, but before she was completely out of the bathroom, Sheena turned her head to face him, "Why don't you go rest on your bed,"

Even though that was what she had said, she truly wanted him out of the bathroom.

Sheena waited until Zelos was out of the room before she closed the door, hoping he would not enter it again while the glass was still in there. Sheena observed him silently as he sat on the bed, dabbing a towel he had grabbed before exiting the room on his knuckles. They weren't bleeding badly now, but Sheena knew that they ought to be wrapped up with bandages.

Before she exited the room, Sheena asked Zelos, "Why did you choose to break a mirror? Why that and not something else?"

"It was the first thing I thought of. What should I have done?"

"You should've talked to me." Sheena answered quietly, her brown eyes drifting to the floor.

"I thought you left." Zelos replied morosely.

Lifting her eyes, Sheena gazed into his icy orbs and, with a small smile, said, "Get it through your head Zelos. I'm _not _leaving you."

With that, she turned around and left the room.

* * *

After a few minutes of searching through countless, Sheena was finally returning to Zelos's room. Upon entering, Sheena found Zelos asleep on his bed, knees curled up to his chest, his hand limply holding onto the towel. Due to that, some of the blood was dripping onto his bed sheets.

For once, Zelos looked content in his sleep. Peaceful. Sheena was not sure that she would ever see that again on his face, whether or not he was asleep or awake. She had missed that look.

She quietly walked over to him and gently grabbed his hand. The ninja was surprised at the fact that he continued to sleep. She slowly began wrapping his wounded knuckles, pausing every now and then to look at his face.

Once she was finished, she positioned herself next to him, slowing laying down. Sheena decided that she would stay awake and watch him, just in case. Mostly, she felt that if she fell asleep, Zelos would wake up and have that relapse that she was afraid of.

She stroked his hair, caressed his face, things she had not been able to do for a long time. And that's all she did for the rest of the night.

* * *

So, there's chapter six. Once again, sorry for the long update. I hope that's the last time I ever go that long without updating. And for the record, this has yet to be thoroughly proofread, so if you noticed any errors, feel free to point them out.

So, was it any good? Please review, even if it's just to complain about my lack of updating. Hopefully, the next chapter will be up soon.


	7. Mood

I'm so sorry! I really didn't mean to take this long to update. Though, I'll assume that some of you will understand. Schoolwork plus writer's block equals a slow update.

Now, I'm not sure how good this chapter will be. I'm not too pleased with the beginning, but personally, I think it gets a little better at the end. Well, I won't make you wait anymore.

Disclaimer: I don't own Tales of Symphonia.

* * *

Chapter 7- Mood

Zelos opened his eyes slowly, fearing what he would see. Sheena's disappointed face? Her pained eyes? He did not want to know. However, once his blue-gray orbs were fully open, he was confused. Where was Sheena? Had she left him?

_"Get it through your head Zelos. I'm __not __leaving you."_

That's right, Zelos recalled. Those were the words that Sheena had uttered so passionately last night. After remembering those words, he knew that he could not doubt it. He could not doubt _her._

Sitting up, Zelos's eyes glanced down to his bandaged knuckles. He thought about removing them to inspect the damage, but was slightly fearful of Sheena yelling at him. So instead, he closed his eyes, thinking about the previous night.

He could remember, after thinking about Seles's funeral, dozing off, not even for fifteen minutes. Even so, he still had a dream. More accurately, a nightmare.

_His sister was in it, and the two of them were standing in an empty wasteland, snow covering the ground. _

_Seles had, at an agonizingly slow stride, walked towards Zelos. He tried to look away from her. From her deathly pale skin and cold, empty eyes. But, something was stopping him from looking away._

_Once she had finally reached him, Seles had said, "Chosen, you're truly a pathetic sight."_

_Those words had caused his dream self to cringe. She had only called him "Chosen" when she did not wish to associate him as family. _

_"That's the only thing you can do, isn't it? Bring death and misery to everybody around you. That's why I'm dead, because of you!" Seles spat, making Zelos flinch._

_"Seles, I-"_

_"Don't say anything! Nothing you say will bring me back to life. It won't bring my mother back, either. Your mother was right. You shouldn't have been born!"_

_Zelos fell to his knees, becoming colder as his pants hit the snow. How could his sister be saying all of this to him. Had she really felt that way her entire life?_

_"How can she stand being around you?"_

_"Sheena?" Zelos questioned, confused._

_"Yes, her. You treat her horribly. It's a miracle that she's still around you."_

_"Stop," Zelos mumbled, covering his ears. In response to that, Seles crouched down, getting closer._

_"You kill everyone around you," She repeated, "It's only a matter of time."_

_With that, she stood up and turned around, gracefully walking away, leaving Zelos behind, _trying_ to mentally deny everything that she had just said._

That was when his dream had ended. It felt like it had lasted forever, even though it had only been a few minutes. When he had then been awake, he felt like he was in agony, remembering everything that Seles had told him. He did not want to believe it, but he had. He did want to think about it, but he had. And that was what drove him to the extreme of punching a mirror.

But, he knew the question he would be asked once Sheena showed up. He knew the question that he would not be able to answer, simply because he did not _know _the answer.

Was he going to cut himself?

He did not know. Like he had answered, he had not thought about it. He _might _have. Zelos just was not sure.

About a minute later, Zelos decided to get up and walk downstairs. As soon as he got off the stairs, Sheena walked into the room, jumping slightly in surprise as her eyes landed on the ex-Chosen.

"Hey," Zelos said nonchalantly when Sheena recovered from her state of shock.

"How're you doing?" Sheena questioned.

Pausing for a moment, Zelos decided to answer truthfully, "Crappy."

"Is that so? Why?"

"You're… disappointed in me, aren't you?"

"I'm not," Sheena answered quietly.

"You're lying," He stated.

"I'm not," The ninja repeated.

"I don't know why I did it," Zelos answered the unasked question, knowing that it would come up soon.

"I wish you did."

"… Me too," He replied morosely.

The two meandered over to the couch, trying to relax. Zelos could tell that the conversation was going to become tenser, but today he was feeling more compliant. Maybe it was because he had realized that she was not going anywhere. Her words from last night had sunken in, though halfheartedly.

"Are you angry since I'm still here?"

"Of course not," Zelos answered quietly, "If anything, I think I'm happier because of it."

"Really?" Sheena asked, the tone of her voice becoming lighter.

"Yeah."

"That's good to hear."

Zelos was startled when Sheena grabbed his hand, slowly peeling away the bandages. Once they were completely removed, she remarked, "They're looking better."

Zelos shrugged, not knowing a better way to reply. Words seemed inadequate in this situation. Maybe it was because he never knew what words to use to describe how he truly felt. He never had. And he knew that Sheena was aware of that, her more than anybody.

"Seems so." He doubted that his answer would satisfy her, but he was unaware of how to answer.

"Are you hungry?" Sheena asked. Zelos was silently happy that the conversation had been dropped.

The former Chosen was not in the mood to force food down his throat, so he replied, regretfully, "Not really. Can I… eat something later?"

Pausing for a moment, which increased his anxiety, the ninja answered, "Okay. _Later._"

"So," He asked after a small pause, "what's on the agenda today?"

Sheena, looking amused, Zelos noticed, said, "You sound interested."

"Maybe I am."

"Do you want to do anything special?"

After thinking for a moment, he answered, "Not really. That's kinda why I was asking you."

Chuckling, Sheena replied, "You're too indecisive. I have no idea, Zelos." Her voice was patient, relaxed. He was definitely pleased with it.

"C'mon, think of _something_," He whined, mirroring her face as he watched her smile.

"What's got you in a good mood?"

"Hey, you're supposed to be thinking of something."

"If you answer, then we _are _doing something."

Rolling his eyes playfully, Zelos said, "I dunno. I'm just… feeling good today. If you want, I can go back to frowning, but I don't really have the face for it."

Sheena, unable to hold it in, laughed, making him chuckle. Maybe, just maybe, today could be a good day. He was currently enjoying himself, and Sheena was laughing, which made Zelos genuinely happy. Neither of them had been in a good mood lately, though it was understandable.

"Looking happy suits you just fine."

"Or, I could flirt with you, if you're interested. But, it would be kinda pointless to, since we're all ready together."

"No need to pressure yourself. Seeing you in a good mood is… good. Plus, you're flirting gets out of control sometimes. And I haven't really missed it."

"You're no fun." He pouted, crossing his arms.

"You know what? There is something I want to do today."

Zelos could pick up on the hesitation of her voice; see the sadness in her eyes. He frowned when she began to frown.

"What is it?"

"I wanted to go somewhere in town," Sheena answered quietly.

"Where?" While he did not want to admit it, his curiosity was growing.

"It's a surprise."

The swordsman was not a major fan of surprises. Most of them in his life had not been pleasant. Normally, when Sheena would hint at something, there would a mischievous twinkle in her eyes. Now, they still remained sad looking.

"I've got a bad feeling about this," He muttered to himself, rising from the couch and following Sheena outside.

* * *

"No," He said, forcing his voice to be even.

"Zelos," Sheena begged, her voice remaining firm.

"_No._" He repeated, struggling to keep calm.

"It could help you, I really think this could. Just… give it a chance, please."

Zelos clenched his teeth, and glared at the land. This was the place which he hated. I place that should not exist, in his opinion. Here, at the cemetery, he was surrounded by death, and he _hated _it. That is why he avoided them with such passion.

"How the hell could this help me?" He had meant this as a rhetorical question.

"Maybe if you just go to her grave and visit her, it could, I don't know, give you some closure. Just try. For me?"

"This can't help me. What makes you think that it can? I would be talking to a rock, not Seles."

Zelos sighed angrily as Sheena grabbed his hand and literally dragged him in the direction of the grave. She seemed very adamant about this, Zelos realized absentmindedly.

"Well, after… after Corrine died, you know how depressed I was."

_So depressed that you're still sad when you talk about him, _Zelos thought sadly. Instead, he answered, "Yeah."

"Shortly after, Lloyd suggested that I pray to Corrine's bell. He said that it might make me feel better. And maybe… it would help me forgive myself. He was right, it did. Honestly Zelos, I still sometimes talk to the bell, when I'm feeling down. Makes me feel like he's still here…" She trailed off, sighing.

They came to a stop in front of the gravesite. Zelos chose not to look at it, opting to stare at Sheena. She was far more beautiful than a rock.

"Listen Zelos," Sheena stated, sighing once again, "if you really don't want to do this, then I guess I shouldn't make you. I'm sorry. I just think it would be good for you."

He looked away from her for a moment. What was the risk in giving this a try? It had helped Sheena, after she had suffered a terrible, personal lose. Maybe it could help him. Besides, he decided, it would probably help Sheena cheer up. He hated when she was depressed, especially because of him.

"Okay Sheena. I'll do it. No guarantees, though."

"I know. I'll just hang around over here. You probably want to talk privately."

"I'll still feel like an idiot talking to stone whether or not you're around."

Chuckling, Sheena walked off, though she stayed close by. Sighing, Zelos turned his attention to the patch of earth that his sister was buried underneath. He tried to shake off any images of her decomposed body.

_Guess I have no choice now._

Clearing his throat, he mumbled, "Hey Seles."

* * *

I certainly hope that this didn't suck after such a long time of not writing. I've definitely _missed _writing this story, I just haven't been able to. Hopefully, I'll update faster. However, I'm not promising anything.

Review please, even if it's to complain about my lack of updates. And a giant thanks to everyone that reviews, reads, et cetera. You are all amazing!


	8. Forgiveness

Well, would you look at this! I still know how to update quickly. Go me. Though, I was a little disappointed that my longest and one of my favorite chapters only received two reviews. Oh well, it still got plenty of hits, and I understand that everyone can't review, so I'm not mad. I just hope that I receive more. Don't worry loyal readers, I'll never hold this story hostage until I get a certain number of reviews.

On another note, a giant thanks to everyone that has reviewed, alerted, added this (or me) to favorites, or just bothered to read. You have no idea how much it's helped me. So, onto the chapter.

Disclaimer: I don't own Tales of Symphonia.

* * *

Chapter 8- Forgiveness

Sheena walked slowly around a few gravestones, eyes never leaving Zelos's back. It had taken a lot to drag him here. She had to watch him carefully to make sure that he would not slip away. The ninja considered the fact that she had actually convinced Zelos to stay nothing less than a miracle.

Now, she just had to hope that he would give this a chance, that he would give _moving on _a chance, because he could not just dwell on this for the rest of his life. Sure, Sheena could wait for him, and she _would _wait however long she needed to, but she was afraid that Zelos would not be able to live with the guilt that he was under.

Taking her eyes of off him for a second, she glanced down at the grave she was currently in front of. Sighing, she sat down, eyes returning to her lover. Resting her back against the cold granite, she waited patiently. Although, she was also trying to figure out why she had come to a stop at this particular grave. More so, she was wondering why she remained at it. However, it did not take her long to draw up a conclusion.

"I hope that you're watching this. I really hope that you're seeing your son moving on, again," She whispered to herself, smiling slightly, mentally praying that Zelos would gain some closure.

* * *

Crossing his arms, Zelos sighed, thinking about how to start this. "How does she expect me to have a one-sided conversation?" He mused out loud, hoping it might inspire him. Truthfully, it was not working.

"I don't know what to say," He complained, his voice almost sounding whiny, "It's not you'll respond anyway, since you're not…" He scanned the gravestone sadly, "here."

Sighing once again, this time in frustration, he turned around ready to walk back to Sheena. However, once his eyes landed on her body, the way she was sitting on the ground, fingers tapping the dirt patiently, his mind changed for a reason that he was not even aware of.

"Fine. I'll try this." Nervously licking his lips, he said, though he did not know why, "You know what Seles? There was a point in my life where I wanted you to be the Chosen, more than anything, even if it meant you dying for this world. But, now that you're actually dead… I can't believe that I wanted that. I would give anything for you to be here, probably even my own life…" He trailed off, despising the lump he felt forming in his throat.

"I don't get why you had to die. I mean, you were a good person. Life was always pretty unfair to you. I… I know that better than anyone how messed up your life was. You shouldn't have died like that, Seles. Not when you wanted me and I didn't come.

"But, I guess that I'm here now, even if you're not. And I've just gotta say that I'm sorry. I know it's not my fault, but I can't help but think that it is. I am so sorry, Seles." Cursing the few tears that slipped out of his eyes, he brushed them away roughly.

Swallowing, he continued, "I wish that you were here. Even if we argued a bit, you were still the best little sister I could ever hope to have. Why did you have to die?" That last sentence had come out like a sob, which caused him to close his mouth so he could try to compose himself. Now he _really _could not understand why Sheena had wanted him to do this. Well, in the back of his mind, he _did _understand, but the logical part of himself was being replaced by the part of himself that was mourning the death of his sister; that was afraid of losing the person closest to him. It was the part of him that _ached _with sadness and pain.

"I so wish you were here to forgive me, even though you would probably say that I haven't done anything. That _is _what you would say, right?" He stared at the stone, like he was expecting an answer. It was after a minute of heavy silence that he started to chuckle. "Look at me, thinking I'm going to get a response. I _must _be losing it."

Inhaling deeply, he muttered, "I'm scared, Seles. What if Sheena doesn't want to put up with me anymore? If I was her, I would've given up on me a long time ago. It's a miracle she can put up with all my emotional baggage." It was a lame attempt at a joke, but he was still trying to eliminate the lump in his throat. He did not want to breakdown. He was not sure he could survive breaking down.

"Is it selfish that I want her to stay with me? I don't know what I would do if I lost her. I just… _I just love her so much_, Seles, even if you didn't exactly like her. I know that she loves me, but is it wrong that I put her through so much?" A small smile on his face, he answered his own question, "You would want me to tell _Sheena _this, not you. And I plan to. It's just harder, I think, to tell her than you, but maybe that's because you're not really here."

Fidgeting nervously, Zelos whispered, "Even though you can't answer me, or talk to me anymore, I'm getting this feeling. You don't blame me, do you? No one besides myself blamed me. You would forgive, so now I just have to forgive myself, right?" He nodded to himself, agreeing with his last statement. "I think that… I'm gonna try. I _have _to try, for myself… and for Sheena." Allowing a few more tears to escape his eyes, he managed to rid himself of the pestering lump.

Beginning to turn away, he said one more thing to the grave, "Maybe this isn't so weird after all. I'll come visit you, okay, Seles? Wouldn't want you getting lonely."

Wiping the tears away with more care, Zelos walked over to Sheena, surprising the ninja when he called her name. As soon as Sheena was on her feet, the ex-Chosen quickly the distance between them. Just as he was about to do something, his attention was captured by the gravestone his lover had been resting in front of.

"Why did you choose to stop here?"

Scratching the back of her head nervously, Sheena said, "I didn't plan on it. I could watch you from here, and it just happened to be the grave of…"

"My mother," He finished, feeling oddly calm. He had never visited his mother's grave, excluding her funeral. It gave him an odd feeling, but he decided not to dwell on it.

Tearing his gaze away from the stone, he returned it to the woman in front of him. With no hesitation, and little reason, he placed his lips onto hers. The kiss was relatively short, but to Zelos, it said almost everything that he wanted to convey to her. That he loved her, that he always would, and that he wanted her to stay by him for the remainder of their lives.

Reluctantly pulling away, Sheena asked, "Are you… feeling better?"

With a small smile, he answered, "A little." Grabbing her hand, he pulled her close to his body, and they began exiting the cemetery.

"We'll… be okay, won't we?" Sheena asked quietly as they were nearing the exit.

That was a question that Zelos had considered asking. While they needed a well deserved talk before he felt completely confident about it, he answered with a gentle smile, "Yeah, we'll be all right."

* * *

Don't worry, this isn't the end. However, I do warn you that we are getting closer. In fact, probably another few chapters. That is why it is important to review!! I'd like to know how I'm writing this, if you have any suggestions, or just want to compliment me, even though it probably doesn't deserve that much praise.

Hopefully, I'll update again soon. But I won't make any promises that I might not be able to keep.


	9. All right

Well, I'm sorry about the long wait, and for the shortness of this chapter. Writer's block didn't treat me very well, along with schoolwork. So, I'd like to quickly thank everyone that's reviewed. Also, make sure to read the author's note at the bottom.

Disclaimer: I don't own Tales of Symphonia.

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Chapter 9- All right

The atmosphere around them was, Sheena noted happily, calm. It was a change from the normal tense, suffocating feeling she usually sensed was around them. Now, the ninja was afraid to say anything. She did not want to ruin this feeling. She would let Zelos speak first; hopefully he would not allow their conversation to be stressful.

"Thanks, Sheena."

Sheena was brought of her reverie by her lover's voice saying something that she was not expecting.

"What for?" She questioned, confused.

"Dragging me there against my will." The two laughed at his teasing voice, "I think that… it helped a little."

Unable to contain her smile, she said, "No problem, Zelos. I'm happy that it helped."

"Honestly, I thought you were pretty crazy for doing it." She knew he did not mean it as an insult, so she allowed him to continue, "It just seemed like it wouldn't work, but I really think that it… did."

"That's good. I was afraid you weren't going to give it a chance."

With a small frown, Zelos replied, "I almost didn't. But… I just changed my mind. Figured you knew what you were talking about."

Sheena smiled, pleased with what she just heard. It was not often when he would admit that she was right. "You just have to trust me sometimes."

"I do," The ex-Chosen said defensively.

"I know you do," she amended. "Sometimes, you just have to a little more."

"I'll try and remember that."

It was quiet for the rest of the walk. Sheena did not mind the silence. She found no point in trying to fill it with pointless chatter. It was not awkward, which she found was a relief.

Catching quick glances at Zelos's face, Sheena was happy by the fact that the swordsman's eyes looked at peace and not the typical broken look they had adopted a few weeks ago.

Arriving at the mansion faster than she had expected, Sheena was pulled out of her daze when Zelos pressed his lips against hers. Looking around at her surroundings, the girl was surprised to find herself inside and sitting on the couch.

Closing her eyes, she returned the kiss. They remained like that until she pulled away, causing him to frown.

"What's gotten into you?" Sheena asked, her voice, however, not holding any accusation.

"Part of an apology. Here's the other part: I'm sorry for everything that I've put you through. I shouldn't have pushed you away like that."

"I understand why, Zelos. It's your way of coping. You don't have to apologize."

"It _used _to be my way," he corrected. "I shouldn't have to do that anymore; not when I have you. You were always there for me, and I-"

"Stop," the ninja gently commanded. "I don't blame you. Sure, you said some pretty hurtful things to me, but I know you didn't mean them. I've gone through grief; I know what it's like."

"I know that. Sometimes I think the only reason we're together is 'cause of our similar guilt complexes."

Rolling her eyes, Sheena replied, "That could be, I guess."

Shrugging, the swordsman said, "I'm not complaining. As long as I'm with you, that's good enough."

"Well that's reassuring," Sheena responded sarcastically. "So if you stop loving me, you'll still stay with me? Because of our guilt?"

"Come on hunny, you know I don't mean that." He wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "Besides, I don't plan to stop loving you anytime soon."

"That was a very sweet thing to say."

"Yeah, I know. What else can you expect from the great Zelos?"

Smiling at his old nickname, she answered, "I all ready know what to expect, so this isn't too surprising."

"So now I'm predictable?" Zelos whined. "Next you'll be telling me that I'm boring. What a sad day this is in our relationship."

"Stop being so dramatic. You're not… _that _predictable. I just know you too well."

Giving a small chuckle, the ex-Chosen asked, "Do you have to go back to Mizuho soon?"

"In a couple days," she sighed. "Sorry."

"Actually… I was wondering if I could come."

"Really? You never want to come," Sheena stated.

"I don't like being glared at. I don't like constantly looking over my shoulder there."

"Well, all they know about you is that you're a womanizer."

"And that I'm going out with their future chief. They probably think I'm not good enough for you or something."

"Most of them don't like outsiders. You know how Mizuho isn't that popular. I'll admit, it's more now than it has been, but still."

With a small smile, replied, "Well, I'll ignore glares and silent death threats for you. You're worth it."

"Even though you don't anymore, I might even be able to ignore you flirting with every female that's alive," Sheena replied, even though she was truly serious.

"I wouldn't do that to you," Zelos answered seriously.

"I know you wouldn't," she said just as serious.

After a period of silence, Zelos spoke, "I still know that it wasn't my fault… that Seles died." Ignoring Sheena's confused gaze, he continued, "I was just letting you know that I don't blame myself anymore. It was just a sickness, something I had no control over."

"That's right; something that wasn't your fault."

"It still didn't give me the right to treat you like that. Or to screw with you like that."

"Don't blame you," she replied simply.

"I know you don't, but it doesn't mean that it was right. I won't do it again, and if I do, you should leave."

"Do you really mean that?" Sheena asked skepticism evident in her voice.

"I do. You shouldn't deal with that. If I was you, I would have left a long time ago."

"Idiot, I stay with you because I want to, and… because I love you. That's not gonna change anytime soon."

"I love you too, Sheena."

"Hey Zelos?" She questioned after a small pause in conversation.

"Hmm?"

"Remember when you said that we'd be all right?" He nodded. "You were serious, right?"

"Of course. I wouldn't lie to my favorite girl like that, especially about something that important."

Pulling her into another kiss, Zelos silently vowed to himself that he would not give her another reason to doubt whether they would be all right or not. The ex-Chosen was quite far from being an optimist, but he would allow himself to be hopeful about that. He had unintentionally hurt her too many times for him to let himself do it one more time.

He did not know what would happen in the future, nor did he know what other tragedies would befall them. He did know that one would happen because life just was not perfect, but he would prevent himself from falling to rock bottom once again.

_Don't worry Sheena, we'll be all right. I'll _make sure _that we will be_.

* * *

Well, I hope that wasn't too bad. Please review and let me know. Also, I'd like everyone to know in advance that the next chapter is the last. Hopefully, the ending doesn't seem too abrupt. Even if you think that it is, I hope that you read and review it anyway!

I'll try and have the next chapter up as soon as I can, but no guarantees. Maybe the review amount will persuade me to write more (hint, hint).


	10. Epilogue

Well, here it is. The last chapter. I'm sorry for dragging this story out so long, especially since I made you all suffer through long periods of no updates. I'm truly sorry for that. Hopefully, you'll all forgive me and review this final chapter. I won't say anything, just please read the author's note at the bottom.

Disclaimer: I don't own Tales of Symphonia.

* * *

Epilogue

"Hope you don't mind that I stopped by. I'm not sure if you'd really have wanted me here, but… I'm still here." Releasing a sigh, she crouched down and placed the white and light blue flowers down in front of the gravestone. "And, I hope you're okay with the flowers. I found them growing outside the cemetery. I don't know what kind they are, but they smelled good, and they looked nice, so I hope you like them."

She really did not have an actual reason for coming here today. The date did not bear any significance to her or the person that she was visiting. She just knew that she had not been here for a month, and even that time she did not properly talk to her. While their relationship may have been strained at best, she did not hate the person she was visiting.

"We've been doing good, which should make you happy. At least, it should make you happy because Zelos has been happy. I know you didn't like me, so you wouldn't care about my happiness.

"At first, I didn't think he would ever recover after your death. He collapsed, and I couldn't do anything for him. I kinda thought he was just too stubborn to let himself move on, which might be true, but I guess he didn't count on _me _being just as stubborn."

Pausing, she looked into the sky, sighing at the sight of clouds. She was not sure if it would snow, but winter was approaching and clouds were filling the sky, blocking out the clear blue and replacing it with dark gray. It was beginning to get colder, so she would probably leave soon.

"I don't even know why I'm here. I doubt you want me here, and I know that. Still… I just had to come. I guess… I guess I just want to apologize. I'm really sorry, Seles. I'm sorry that we weren't able to create a… civil relationship, at least for Zelos's sake. I'm sorry that I sometimes came between you and him, though I don't regret staying with him. Deep down, I know you didn't hate me for being with him either. You cared about him; that much was obvious."

_He was probably the only thing we had in common. You'd think we should've been able to get along for him, _she thought forlornly. Despite the regret she felt, she knew there was absolutely nothing she could do. Seles was gone, and she had no intention on dying yet.

"I don't know if there is a heaven, or life after death, or anything, but if there is, I hope that we could possibly work out our differences in it. I never exactly _hated _you; we just didn't have anything we agreed on. Plus, you weren't exactly the nicest person, thinking I was just one of his groupies."

Watching her own breathe appear in front of her as she let out a sigh, she stepped forward, placing her hand on the cool stone, lingering for a moment. No matter what negative feelings she had felt towards Seles, there was no reason for her premature death. She deserved to live, just like every other person. It was a tragedy, but life was filled with them. She knew you just had to take whatever happiness you had and use it to get through the bad times. Hopefully, Zelos had realized that too.

Lingering for just a moment, Sheena silently turned around and left the cemetery. The temperature was still slowly plummeting and she wished to take refuge within the warm Wilder mansion.

Things had been good between her and Zelos over the last month. He pulled himself out of his depression, with Sheena hanging on to him the entire time. It was her duty, and deep she knew it would be for the rest of her life. Maybe it was just her nature to worry; maybe it was because she knew he would be lost without her. Whatever the reason, she could not leave him now.

The walk ended quicker than expected. She reached the mansion within minutes, happily be greeted by warmth and the usual greeting from Sebastian. He had accepted her easily, which had pleased her. She enjoyed the aging man's company, and she knew how much of a father figure he has been in Zelos's life.

Seeing as Zelos was not in the spacious living room, Sheena climbed the stairs, giving a brief knock before opening his bedroom door. The ex-Chosen was sitting on his bed, leaning against the wall and reading a book.

"Hey," she greeted.

"Hiya," he greeted back, placing the book down on the table next to him.

"What were you reading?"

"Something I don't think you'd approve of," he answered slyly.

Giving him a playful eye roll, she sat down on the bed, giving him a small smile as Zelos placed a short kiss on her lips.

"Where were you?" Zelos asked casually.

"Somewhere I don't think you'd approve of," she replied sarcastically, chuckling at Zelos's appalled expression. "I was visiting someone."

"You've got friends in the city I don't know about. And here I thought you weren't secretive."

"Relax Zelos. If you really want to know, I was visiting Seles."

She was not sure how he would react to that. Sometimes, he would not care if Seles came up in conversation. Other times, it saddened him, which, in turn, depressed him.

"Why'd you do that?" His tone did not hold anger, Sheena noted, so she assumed he was calm and could talk about her.

"Oh, no special reason. Just felt like it."

Shrugging, Zelos asked nonchalantly, "Have fun?"

"The time of my life."

Laughing, Zelos wrapped an arm around her shoulders, leaning in to kiss her again. She accepted, kissing him back. It was during these times where she could almost completely forget about every misfortune that ever happened to them. When everything was this calm, so perfect, she felt at peace—like nothing bad could ever happen to them.

But she knew that naivety. Something bad was bound to happen. Something bad _always _happened. Even so, she would fight through the bad times, no matter what would happen to them, she would fight for _them_.

Because she knew she just _had _to.

* * *

Well, that's it. The end.

Thanks to all that have read, reviewed, faved, alerted, etc. You all mean a lot to me, and it was only through your support that I've been able to continue. Now, I'd like to that I'm planning on writing a one-shot when _Meaning_ reaches 5,000 hits. It's close, about 4,930, if I'm not mistaken. I'm too lazy to check. Anyway, I doubt it would have anything to do with _Meaning_, it'll just be some lovely Sheelos-ness. Who knows, maybe I'll able to write something remotely fluffy?

Anyway, thanks to everyone. You'll see me again soon, I just don't know when. Until then!

- _Riku-Aura777_


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